(HK Golden Forum, modified version)
Type 1: Moral Dickheads
These dickheads normally seize the moral high ground quickly with statements about their indescribable sorrow. Then they proceed to interfere with how other people must live their lives (e.g. no entertainment; no movies; no dining out; no neon lights; no NBA basketball games on tv; day of mourning in Taiwan; mandatory black dress for tv news announcers; etc). They point their fingers at the minor actions of other people and call them disrespectful, even cold-blooded.
Type 2: Radical Dickheads
These dickheads are often mindless angry young people. Normally they would never glance at a news story. But on this occasion, they come out and demand to fire all Filipina domestic helpers in Hong Kong to show that they care. Or else they say that they will never ever visit the Philippines. But it is not certain that they can point out the location of Manila in a world map. If you object to their proposals, they will call you brain-dead first.
Type 3: Manipulator Dickheads
These dickheads tie this tragedy to other unrelated things that they want to exploit, such as prominently featuring their own names/political parties/URLs in any petition drive, etc. For example, when you see a forum post entitled
Type 4: Smack Aleck Dickheads
These dickheads think that they are smart and can easily see what others are unable to see. For example, someone sends him a video of an anti-terrorist military exercise somewhere else in the world. He watches it and suddenly he is an expert to comment on the mistakes of the Manila police. As another example, he may say that he was once with the Boy Scouts and therefore he can now comment on what the Manila police did wrong.
Type 5: Second Guesser Dickheads
These dickheads are very easy to detect, because they begin their comments with "I told you so ..." and "I already said ..." Then they continue on to say "if they had done that, things would have turned out fine ..." and "because they did this, everything went wrong ..." Of course, there is no way that they can be proven wrong.
Type 6: Emoter Dickheads
These dickheads are also very easy to detect because they say that they cried while watching the television coverage. (Note: Please do not confuse these dickheads with your mom. Your mom also cried. But afterwards, she went into the kitchen and cooked dinner for the family. But these emoter dickheads will keep telling the world for many days and nights afterwards through MSN, Facebook and microblogs that they cried while watching television.)
Type 7: Rationalist Dickheads
These dickheads are supposedly the smartest of the lot. During the live coverage of the hostage crisis, they were not going to post live comments to express their great thoughts. After the crisis ended, others may rave and rant on Facebook or add flowers before their own MSN ID's or make Internet forum posts designed to shock and awe through sheer sensationalism. But these rationalist dickheads will silently pay respect to the victims and quietly keep up with the latest developments. Unfortunately, you couldn't tell that these dickheads exist based upon what can be found on the Internet. By definition, they don't express their feelings. It is just wishful thinking that they exist. Do they? By definition, they won't come out to say so.
This list is not exhaustive, because you can easily come up with many more types:
Type 8: Joker Dickheads
These dickheads think that the whole point of this tragedy is to come up with more new ingenuous ways of tricking people into being more upset. For example, there was the Internet post that CNN had just reported that a young hostage was injured because he was hit in the head by the axe that the police used to break the bus window and not by any flying bullets. Yes, that dickhead knew that invoking CNN would trick a lot of people because they trust authority and he succeeded.
Type 9: Space Cadet Dickheads
These dickheads aren't even aware of this incident that has rocked the rest of Hong Kong.
略解：呢類人通常搶佔道德高地，以如何如何悲傷為名，干涉別人的娛樂生活。又猛於批評別人的小動作，指他不尊重，更甚者，便會指他人是冷血的（我心諗＿ ＿ ＿）。