☭ marselip0910 叶俊华™

Source: IS Sports via Naver
by VITALSIGNon May 1, 2011

南韓女星李智雅上月21日被曝出與樂壇教父徐太志秘婚14年，一直隱居在家，與外界斷絕聯絡，但前晚10時李智雅終於打破沉默，在個人官網發文表明心聲，指自己為愛情拋棄了父母和自我，感到十分痛苦，也向親朋好友道歉。其現任男友鄭宇成透過經紀公司表明就此事不會發出任何聲明，只盼徐李兩人可和平地解決事件。

據香港“文匯報”報道，李智雅與徐太志秘婚一事因女方告上法院索取贍養費及要求分男方身家而曝光，李智雅也被斥貪心，形象受損。其後媒體爆料稱李智雅在06年申請離婚時，已主動放棄財產請求權，日前徐太志也借友人透露當時已付出精神賠償費，李智雅急忙徹消訴訟，但有傳她私下收了男方約10億至20億韓元的和解費。面對眾多傳聞，李智雅在聲明上特別強調撤回上訴時沒有收取任何錢，也還未與前夫達成任何協議，不願被人誤會她貪財。

李智雅在文中詳述當時因為愛，尊重前夫不願婚姻曝光的意願，連面對父母和朋友都不能坦白，因此人際關係非常差，經常被誤會是個冷漠的人，身心承受著巨大的痛苦，並指為了隱瞞過去，曾使用了很多化名，甚至出現自我認知的混亂，其中造成的影響和傷害非言語能夠表達清楚。她形容失去自我的日子如同失去了自由，但她還直言：“當時是用真心去對待那份愛，從沒有用頭腦去計算要得到什麼實質的東西。”

事件過了10多天才發文回應，李智雅表示是想讓大家理解她在那段漫長而灰暗的日子，也想找回曾經失去的自我，才走到了現在這個地步。她稱從沒想過要讓前夫難堪，一直希望以圓滿的方式解決事件，希望大家看到她真正的想法後，事件可以儘快落幕，她也可以早日復工，報答關心和支援自己的粉絲和親友，並向擔心自己的人道歉。

徐李兩人先後就秘婚一事發表聲明，而早前承認與李智雅戀愛的鄭宇成也無辜被捲入這場風波，其經紀公司日前表明不會就此事發表任何官方聲明，只透露鄭宇成期望李智雅與徐太志可以理智地處理事件。

上月底鄭宇成赴濟州島散心，現在已返回首爾，雖然他仍然心情低落，但會選擇積極面對，最近還接到出演電影的邀請。據悉在5月中旬，他將會赴日本拍攝由反町隆史主演的日劇《Good Life》，重新開始演藝活動，不過他會否於今年夏天和李智雅赴日宣傳《雅典娜：戰爭女神》則仍是未知之數。

After a series of unofficial statements made both on her behalf and Seo Taiji, actress Lee Ji Ah has finally come forward by releasing her own press report through her official homepage.

Her post reads as follows:

“This is Lee Ji Ah.

I would like to first apologize for not being able to be honest with who I am towards everyone. For the past 10 days, I’ve experienced something that was difficult for me to withstand on my own.

First, there was no settlement made before I withdrew my lawsuit. There have been so many speculations and rumors these past few days, that I felt it was necessary for me to directly clarify the matter myself. I’ve mustered the bravery to write this today, but even at this moment, I’m scared as to whether my honest truth will be delivered properly.

I was young, but we loved with trust and hope, and I gave up so many things that I should have had at that age. Still, I never once regarded that person’s love with anything other than my heart.

Before I even knew what the world was all about, I had to be hidden away. The influence that had on my life and the wounds that resulted from it cannot be explained in words.

Having to live life through different names, I was always questioning my identity and never sure of who I really was… I couldn’t regard my family and friends with the freedom of thought and mind. I was misunderstood as someone that was cold and hard to approach, and I was never able to have a wholesome relationship with anyone.

I was pained in that I was not able to live life as who I was. I lost my freedom.

The reason why I was not able to live what everyone else would consider a normal life was because I respected that person’s decision in not wanting to let anyone see me. I believed that was love, so I left my parents and myself for him. The path I chose, however, wounded me and gave me so much trauma. It made my whole existence meaningless, which I didn’t know at the time.

I wished for a long time to be able to live as myself, but because I was hidden away for so long, I was also scared of finally showing who I was.

In 2006, the reason why everything was put to an end so abruptly was because I wanted to just forget everything and move on to treating my wounds. We believed at the time that that would be the best way in leaving each other without regrets. Unfortunately, reality wasn’t so forgiving.

As time went on, my wounds grew deeper, and every time the truth and promises that I believed in became broken… They were left as wounds that I could never treat.

Although late, I found my path as an actress and tried to live how I wanted, but I could never be completely ‘me.’ I hid myself and cried and cried over the many rumors and misunderstandings that my opaque past brought about with the public.

So many times, I wanted to open my burnt, black heart and scream out that I was having a hard time, that I needed consolation.. but there was nobody I could tell that, or depend on and lean on for support. I lived half of my life under such loneliness.

I’m here today because I want my past to be understood.. and to also find the true me.

I, too, did not know that the conflict would come to this extent as I filed the lawsuit. I did not have any intention of bringing that person down and truly believed that we would be able to resolve this as harmoniously as possible.

But now… I am at an unfortunate situation where my opinions are clashing against someone that I’ve known for so long about our past. We’ve worked on designing, styling and other visual jobs together.. and worked together for so many other things..

The memories that we shared together, the pain and effort that we shared together, are now coming back as pain. This conflict is only bringing both of us down, and I now believe that it is meaningless.

I decided to withdraw my lawsuit because I predicted that the conflict would only get longer.. and that I would never be able to get back my time and life that will be spent dwelling on this issue in the future.  For everyone, for my fans.. I do not want to sacrifice their hearts.
Once news of my lawsuit were revealed, it was no longer an issue between the two of us.

I was scared… and I spent day after day thinking that my heart would just melt away… I hope that my truth was delivered properly to you..

I want to go back to my position and work hard under the support of my fans… but I keep getting weaker…. and I keep crumbling……….. I am just so apologetic towards my parents, and for all of those concerned for me.”